First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
