and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
