I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
a search helicopter?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize