I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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