if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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