I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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