Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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