I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
