my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Found the puke drawer
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
