yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
