he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She bit a glass in half.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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