i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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