I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
