Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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