Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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