I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
