Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
