Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Terrible idea I love it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
