He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
