it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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