No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
