Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I AM VODKA MAN
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
