I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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