Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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