I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize