OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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