I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize