I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
