normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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