all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
