Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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