I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
