is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
