Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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