sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
