Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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