You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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