The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
