I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
