So drunk its hurt
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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