you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
