Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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