Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
