I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
