he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
