I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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