Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
