Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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