Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
nutella sex= disaster
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
