You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize