dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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