therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
