You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
