I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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