My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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