i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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