Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize