I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
