I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just threw up on my dentist
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
