Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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