Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
