My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
