This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize