He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
