I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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