what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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