Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
