You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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