dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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